In Defense of Meat Substitutes

One thing that I hate about being vegan is eating lunch at school.  I tend to pack a piece of fruit, and something to microwave--usually a mix of veggies, quinoa, and some kind of fake meat.

"What is that?  Is it chicken?" my students will ask.

And then I have to go through the rigamarole of explaining that while it LOOKS like chicken, it is NOT chicken, because I am vegan.  Which leads to conversations like the following:

Student:  So you don't eat chicken wings?
Me:  No.
Student:  What about chicken noodle soup?
Me:  No.
Student:  Well what about Chicken In A Biscuit crackers?
Me:  No.
Student:  But don't you LIKE meat?  I've seen you eat meat before.  And if you hate meat, why would you bother eating fake meat-flavored meat?

Because here's the thing: I don't hate meat.  If I could have babies with a pulled pork sandwich (preferably a pulled pork sandwich from Outlaw's in Sonora, CA, HOLLA!), I would totally do that.  I didn't become vegan because I hate meat; I became vegan for a lot of other reasons having nothing to do with the taste of burgers, Thanksgiving turkey, or chicken fingers.

That said, there are a lot of awesome fake meats out there!

Lightlife makes a lot of good stuff--their fake Italian sausage is pretty awesome too--but I really like these Mexican-style crumbles added to a jalapeno jack rice cheese quesadilla.  Add some sliced bell peppers and avocado, stick it in the oven, and YUM.

Gardein also makes a ton of awesome stuff.  This is the fake chicken that I take in my lunch almost every single day of the week.  It comes frozen, which is kind of a bummer, but I've gotten really good at snapping them in half on the edge of the kitchen counter to make them fit into my tupperware containers.  I'm a big fan of putting one over the top of quinoa and spinach, then adding a little lemon juice and black pepper.  Gardein also makes pulled pork shred style fake meat, which I have yet to try, because I keep forgetting to look for vegan barbecue sauce.

SO.  Check this shit out.  It's delicious, it's easy to cook, and most of all--it isn't tofu 7 days a week!

Brussels Sprouts Aux Deliciousness

My stepdad is very PFFFFT towards brussels sprouts, in that he will not eat them.  He is coming up to visit me in another few weeks, and I am tempted to feed him this recipe blind-folded and see what he thinks.  Childhood vegetable hatreds be damned!

Date and Garlic Brussels Sprouts
1 lb brussels sprouts, de-stumped and halved
1/2 c. dates, chopped (I just buy the pre-chopped ones; save yourself the trouble!)
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 T olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

.5) Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
1) Cut up those sprouts.  It's super easy.  And if any leaves fall off--INCLUDE THOSE.  They are the best part!  They get brown and crispy and awesome!
2)  Mince that garlic.
3)  Add sprouts, garlic, dates (here I am assuming you bought pre-chopped dates; if you didn't, insert step 2.5 and chop up your own dates, silly), olive oil, and salt and pepper into a bowl big enough to allow you to toss things around.  Stir them up!  Mix them well!
4)  Spread evenly on a cookie sheet.  A jelly roll sheet works best, but I've been living with cookie pans for years and nothing bad has happened (yet).
5)  Bake for 5 minutes.  Flip.
6)  Bake for another 6 minutes.
7)  Allow to cool, ever so slightly, and then devour with your mouthhole.

These are addictive, and don't say I didn't warn you.